How to make a good salad

A while back I decided to eat try eating a big salad for breakfast (I still do occasionally, but now they’re more of a lunchtime thing). I then wrote up some directions for how to make such a salad, which Matt has now made some art for:

Here’s the directions the above was based on:

  1. Buy a big-ass salad spinner
  2. Buy fixin’s: romaine lettuce (2 small heads or 1 biggin), dressing (something good and good for you, not just full of fat and salt. Newman’s light italian is excellent), tomatoes and/or sesame seeds and/or flax seeds and/or croutons and/or carrots and/or celery and/or spinach and/or shredded cheese (mozz or parm or whatever)
  3. Put 6 eggs in a pot with water and put it on the stove on high.  What’s it gets good and boily, turn it down a notch and leave it alone for a while.
  4. Rip the butt off the lettuce and run each leaf under the faucet to rinse it off.  Set the wet leaves on a plate or something, or just on the counter if you’re really lazy.
  5. Grasp a small handful of leaves and twist 1-inch pieces off the end, dropping the segments into the spinner.  Repeat until you have a bunch of wet lettuce chunks in your spinner.
  6. Spin.
  7. Now spin the spinner.
  8. Remove the spinner’s basket from the clear bowl and dump the greenish water from the bowl into a nearby plant or onto the neighbor’s dog.
  9. Dump the lettuce into the bowl.
  10. Slice and dice your fixin’s as needed and add them to the bowl (but not the croutons or cheese, lest they get soggy/slimy).
  11. Cover the bowl with saran and stick it in the fridge.
  12. Have the eggs been boiling for 10 minutes or so?  Probably.  Put’m in a bowl and stick’m in the fridge.
  13. BREAKFAST: put a big-ass handful of salad in a bowl, add dressing and croutons and/or cheese, and add one of the eggs (peel it under a running faucet for extra points)
  14. Be awesome.
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